Great effort here
I like what you're doing with this one. It had a pretty even tone and good pacing for being as long as it was. The music served to temper the mood quite well. I do, However offer a few suggestions for the future.
I think that more could have done to promote ambience. Flickering lights, spiders crawling, etc. Things like that can really help pull the viewer in.
I think it would also behoove you to expand on the charecter's facial expressions. The protagonist tended to smile a lot where I didn't really feel that it was appropriate for him to smile. Same goes for the bartender. This is doubly important in a piece where no charecters speak.
All in all, very good work. Keep on submitting quality stuff!